Hilarious Bulletins you Might Encounter While Travelling.

Hilarious Bulletins

Hilarious Bulletins

Tourists experience many usual and often unusual happenings, or read funny or hilarious bulletins. The further a tourist travels, the more chances there are to experience strange things, which can range from table manners, the way people behave, talk, discuss or solve problems, or express themselves.

Inuks, as well as many Saudis express their appreciation of a good meal by burping loudly.

In several Middle Eastern countries, families eat from a common pot placed in the middle of a white cloth spread on the floor, using their right hand. The left hand is used for activities associated with matters of hygiene.

Never clean up your plate in China. It is considered rude.

When clinking glasses with alcoholic beverages in Austria, always look straight into the eyes of your drinking partner.

In Germany never cut your potato with a knife, but with the fork to ensure that you can mop up the rich sauce on the plate.

In Japan, while eating noodles, slurp (yes slurp), to show your appreciation to the chef.

In a Spanish snack bar, after eating, throw anything recyclable i.e food on the floor.
Never ask a French chef for ketchup when in France. It is considered to be an unforgivable faux pas.

But the funniest things an English-speaking tourist can encounter relate to their native tongue. Unintended faux pas and incorrect translations contribute to bulletins I came across during my peregrinations.

“ I send you my prices. If I am dear to you and your mistress she might be reduced”.
“We have ample garage accommodation for your char. In the close village you can buy memorials for you pass away”.
From a hotel in Piedmont, Italy

“I can offer you commodious chamber, with balcony imminent to the romantic gorge and I hope you want to drop in”.
“ I am honourable to accept your impossible request. Unhappy it is I here have not bedroom with bath. Bathroom with bed I have… Do not concern yourself that I am not too good in bath, I am superb in bed.”

“We are also noted for having children”.
From a brochure promoting a hotel in China

“Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a French widow in every room”.
From a promotional brochure of an hotel in Italy

“Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up”.
From a hotel in Italy

“The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable”.

“To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number for wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order”.
From a hotel in Shanghai

“Please leave your values at the front desk”.
“Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11
a m daily”.
“You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid”
“Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose”.
From a Japanese hotel

“ It is strictly forbidden on our campsite that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose”.
From a German campsite

“Drop your trousers here for best results”.
Dry-cleaning store in Shanghai

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time”.
Tailor shop in Hong-Kong

“Because is big rush we will execute customer in strict rotation”.
Tailor shop in Athens

“Ladies have fits upstairs”.
Ladies fashion store Hong Kong

“Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages.”
Sign in Budapest

“Would you like to ride your own ass?
Sign in Thailand

“When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but he obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.”
Auto rental office in Kyoto

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists”.
Dentist office in Hong Kong

“Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin”.
Furrier in Helsinki

“We take you bags and send them in all directions”.
Airline office in Copenhagen

“If this is your first visit to Russia you are welcome to it”.
Hotel lobby in Moscow

“Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar”.
In Reykjavik

“Please do not feed the animals if you have any suitable food, give it the guardian on duty”
Sign in zoo Serbia

“The manager has personally passed all the water served here”.
Sign in hotel Mexico

Hilarious Bulletins

One Comment

  1. “Never ask a French chef for ketchup when in France. It is considered to be an unforgivable faux pas.”

    I didn’t know this was actually true. It crops up in Raymond Briggs’ “Father Christmas”, where he goes on holiday to France and absolutely scandalises the waiter by asking for chips. Then ketchup. Then HP Sauce. But I thought it was just an exaggeration.

    But anyway, I love slightly off mistranslations. This one’s one of my favourites:

    “When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but he obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.”

    That has to be the most poetic way of describing road rage I’ve ever seen!

    I don’t know about Japan but China has actually been waging a war against translations like that and personally, I think it’s a bit short-sighted. I understand wanting to protect your own language but things like this:

    “Tender, fragrant grass. How hard-hearted to trample”

    …I don’t think that cheapens Chinese at all. In fact, it offers an insight into the language that a traditional translation just wouldn’t give you. Safety signs and anything like that should always be handled by professional translation companies but unless we’re talking life and death, I’d prefer to see these slightly off translations left in place.